Lord Of The Flies extract (part 1)

Within the diamond haze of the beach something dark was fumbling along. Ralph saw it first, and watched until the intentness of his gaze drew all eyes that way. The the creature stepped from mirage onto clear sand, and they saw that the darkness was not all shadow but mostly clothing. The creature was a party of boys, marching approximately in step in two parallel lines and dressed in strangely eccentric clothing. Shorts, shirts, and different garments they carried in their hands: but each boy wore a square black cap with a silver badge in it. Their bodies, from throat to ankle, were hidden by black cloaks which bore a long silver cross on the left breast and each neck was finished off with a hambone frill. The heat of the tropics, the descent, the search for food, and now this sweaty march along the blazing beach had given them the complexions of newly washed plumbs. The boy who controlled them was dressed in the same way though his cap badge was golden. When his party was about ten yards from the platform he shouted an order and they halted, gasping, sweating, swaying in the fierce light. The boy himself came forward, vaulted onto the platform with his cloak flying, and peered into what to him was almost complete darkness.

The novel is about a group of boys stranded on a tropical island. At first they work together and then fear sets in and evil takes over and the boys end up fighting a war amongst themselves. I think this description from the opening chapter is brilliant. Up until now, the island has been described in a positive way. It is a bright sunny day (weather description) and the boys who we have already met are happy and playful. Suddenly this description changes things (contrasting language). A group of choirboys appears in the distance and as they move towards the other boys they bring an unexpected gloominess to the island: ‘something dark was fumbling along’ and there is a ‘shadow’. Their bodies are ‘hidden by black cloaks’ which suggests that they are hiding something (their characters?). They are described as ‘the creature’ which suggests they are not human (character described through appearance). We are introduced to Jack as ‘the boy who controlled them’ and ‘he shouted an order’.  Straight away he seems serious and unfriendly (character described through his words). There is ‘fierce light ‘ on the island but Jack sees ‘almost complete darkness’ which suggests he cannot see the beauty of the island like the boys introduced at the beginning (contrasting language). At the end of the novel, the choir turns into an evil tribe with Jack as the violent leader and most of the other boys join it. They are called ‘creatures’.  Also at the end ‘the sky was black’. This shows that the evil hinted at in the choir at the beginning (in this piece of writing) has spread to the other boys and the ‘shadow’ has grown and now covers the whole sky showing evil has spread across the whole island (linking beginning of novel to end). Brilliant!!!!!!!

GOOD TECHNIQUES TO BORROW FOR OUR WORK = describe character of person through appearance and their words/weather descriptions to add atmosphere/contrasting language (i.e. light and dark)/symbols (i.e. darkness = evil)/linking beginning description to end description...

Alex Eburne